That's what Melissa said to me, panicked, at practice last night. "At least you know what the next step is after this," she told me. "At least you know what you're doing!" Funny, I told her, I couldn't feel further from this truth. A job, fine. What do you want to do, she asked, always so interested in this weirdness that graphic design has become to her. What do I want to DO?! Are you joking. My latest bullshit answer has been book jacket design or something to do with children's books (since, apparently, this is all my portfolio has become...hah!).

Ahh, updating. How I have missed thee, let me count the ways! Quite honestly, I've found myself innundated with schoolwork and such within these first few weeks and haven't devoted the time (read: any time at all) to the website. This is likely a good thing, and in addition, I have undertaken yet another day-to-day project (along with Mr. Walking Man, that is): my fish comic. But, indeed, another story for another time when I might see you face-to-face (and might have some time, at least).

Okay, but I'm kind of done panicking about graduating for awhile. The thing is, there's no point, and I've got other issues with which to deal (such as, Purdue is in less than two weeks and I was a scared tired stupid gymnastics baby last night. ALAS we can't win them all now can we?). I'll get it, I made a list. "Maybe this semester is going to kick my ass more than I thought!" –Susan, 1/27/04, after portfolio "Yeah. The word I'd use is $#@*ed!" –Lexi But other than that. I don't have any real problems, so I'm trying just to get through the snow to my woodcutting and comic writing and Jasper listening and talking back lifestyle oh yeah baby. It doesn't get better than this.

Okay, what else. Really I am supposed to be running errands so I'm going to have to leave you in a minute but I did just want to say hello. Last Thursday was FRIENDS night at Sarah and Anna's, which included a Sarah-Anna Sex Ed night, haha, that was great, so I did want to say something about that. I have a sappy update about graduating/Sarah leaving eventually/moving on in me, but hopefully I'll beat that back until the last possible minute. I can't wreck my style with some tearful shit now man, that's not going to work. ANYWAY. So yeah. I am so dead tired! Not sleepily, well, that too, but my body! I did my conditioning yesterday morning as I always do, but I thought I would add a five pound weight to everything (pushups, leg lifts, situps, arches, etc. All that crap.). Yeah, so five pounds doesn't seem like a lot now does it? WRONG. I was on beam yesterday and even the dumb DANCE was hard. My legs just felt like they were filled with lead. Impossible! So, I guess I should quit the weight thing til after Season, but I don't want to stagnate! Alas, see, I have such a good life. Nothing real to worry about. I oughtn't complain.

Still. Even today swimming my body was tired. The water felt like honey! Mmm, honey. I am making bread and will get to eat that tonight, as well as see a lovely movie once again. Sweet for having too many people in portfolio and getting weeks at a time off!

Well I'm done. ("I'm spent!" –Jenny) Places to go, people to see, essays to summarize so eloquently. Honestly, I must have been meant to write, see, I can even rhyme. Oh God. Somebody stop her. Bye.