“The sooner I see things in the terms that I am no longer a student, and that I have to accept and move into the next phase of my life; the better. It's just going to be very hard to do this when all I want to do is re-live the last 8 years of my life over and over again.”
—My cousin Mike
“THIRD UPDATE: THINGS IT'S ALL ABOUT: Names, Youth, Beauty, Caffeine, MONEY, Buying ots of things to accesorize your house to give it your unique style and personality, THE AUTUMN, Sobriety, Babes & Bicycles, Hating on cars, Spitting on cars, F---ing up cars, Annual Events, Desperately reaching into the past and salvaging the scraps that remain, Varying sexual activities and positions, Budgeting your time, Asking for what you want, Keeping in touch, Feeling bittersweet about everything, Getting over it.”
—My cousin Mike, again...this is my new motto.
September 18, 2006
Hotness Does Not Guarantee An Extraordinary Life
time ???? this one's f'ed up
Lynni's swing party? Matt, in his keds and short jeans, calling it flaming we were there anyway spinning the dial to pick weird songs what was that? sitting in Dan's basement watching the hair covered woman with the Dead sitting in Sharan's basement watching the boys do what? fill water balloons? replay Monty Python? toss insults across the room? reaching for the lamp above us to reveal the first night of secrets revealed, feeling the hot glass under our hands as Alyssa and I crowed with delight formal pajamas? what's that? winnowing amongst the dwellers of 'chad' as I pretended once more to be a student the tiny rooms and those tiny desks and all those long lonely nights tearing across the parking lot with Katie and Bri and the police shining their lights as we drive away filled with the simultaneous rush of fear and glee brushing our foreheads of spray and hairpins after another anti-fairytale/pro-oddity school dance dusting chalk off our scalps and winding tape off after yet another pop-music-filled practice sitting on the couch in the Kellys' cloud room while Wally teases us with the purply velvety Crown Royale and then downs it all himself sending around a round of Sun Drops? what was that? watching it all recede throwing ink and minerals across the table in a wild designer's dash to pretend to be an artist shooting rubberbands at their backs running from coaching to classes to practice to home and back again KLA and True Ten and all that came with it and all of the moments and all of the past you can't get away dinners at tables so big we made a center and carved out stories from our hearts just to share and be there threading through freeways to the armpit of america just so we could compete and be together really? what was that? what's that? what am I? almost 25?
Surely you jest.
—Lexi