“...I thought it less like a lake and more like a moat / The rhythm of my footsteps crossing floodlands to your door / have been silenced forever more / The distance is quite simply much too far for me to row / It seems farther / than ever before / Oh no // I need you so much closer...”
—Death Cab For Cutie
September 3 , 2006
Feeding Our Souls
time written on the back of my ticket on a plane so I don't have the rest of the info, sorry
NOTE: First, some photos from the wedding here—that is, if Katy doesn't object (let me know Katers!). OK on to the journal/
If you know me—KNOW me—you know I'm a crier. A Freiday affliction, if I had to guess. But if you know me, you als oknow that the crying comes only when I feel deepest (craziest?), only when something unlcoks a tightening or knocks something loose or leaves me with no other way to react. And, conversely, when smoething so wonderful happens, I can't help but beam, glow, laugh. The first part is why, despite being a free-tear-falling kind of gal, I've come close to crying in only one (?) movie in (almost) 25 years. Th elatter is why I look like a grinning, ridiculous, overjoyed moron at weddings.
Katy's wedding, of course, was no exceptions. Steeped in tradition—of the Chinese variety, no less—but plastered with Katers's pink and perfect touches, this red-and-gold-and-pink Chinese-Canadian-American wedding affair was one I coudln't have been happier to witness. You see, we all have these close ones, for me few andf ar between, that we've babied and watched and hope for, and it's in their immediate and eventual happiness that we revel. It's like one 1,000,000th of what I imagine raising a child to be like, in a way; you just want them to shine. Be it Jenny or lovers or now, a niece, you watch these rarities, and you react. Your heart aches, be it happy or sad. Your chest fills and feels as if to burst for its enchantment.
All of this—hearing about Katy meeting this guy from lab, getting to know Rob last fall and living in their lovely life together for but an instant, hearing Katy's joy as she announced the engagement, watching her eyes panic as the Russian hairdresser finally pinned the last jewel in her dark curls just an hour before the ceremony—led up to THIS. And it's not over, and it's just a moment, and the years go by.
It was a beautiful wedding; it was a glorious weekend; they are a WONDERFUL couple (restore my faith!!!) and the picture-story says it all. But as the plane lifted off, left Saint Louis and its glittering spray of lights, flew away from Katy and her Rob and their new, true life in marriage, something stirred and I quietly burst into tears, still smiling at the memory of it all. The familiar hot salt filled my eyes, stinging my face and wetting my lashes (not to mention alarming the flight attendant), but what else was there to do? There they were, so happy, and so happy was I for them; this is just how I do.
So in essence you could say this was the first wedding that made me cry. But all for good. Katers I love you. Congratulations to you both.
—Lexi